I recently came across the quote from the book “The Natural” by Bernard Malamud: “We have two lives…the life we learn with and the life we live after that. Suffering is what brings us towards happiness.” Happiness is not just a human emotion. Philosophers and spiritual thinkers define happiness in terms of living a good life or flourishing. How do we get through times when someone we love is dying, we are dealing with a serious health issue or we are helping a child manage a chronic disease? In those painful experiences of life, if someone dares mention that it is necessary to move toward happiness or that “everything happens for a reason” it can not only feel pat or dismissive but downright clueless. Advances in positive psychology reveal how happy people develop habits that help them maintain positive thoughts, actions and feelings even during challenging times. “Happiness depends less on what happens to us and more on how we view the past, enjoy the moment and imagine the future.” Research indicates that the sources of happiness are 50% genetic and 10% affected by life circumstances, which leaves us with about 40% in our power . The hedonic adaption theory postulates that as a person makes more money, expectations and desires rise in tandem so there is no permanent gain in happiness. The 40% includes our activities, thoughts and beliefs that support positive emotions, our commitments and pursing what gives us meaning. Is this where the life we learn with and the life we live after that become one?
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